Grygoris
"Alright, I'm about to show you my creation." Joseph said. "It's a robot in the shape of a chicken meant to defeat any foe it comes upon." "Oh wow cool, where is it?" Nut asked. Joseph pointed to a gigantic metal door. He walked to a control panel and pressed a big red button. The door started to open but it was actually a series of doors, one behind each other. Eventually the last door opened and there was an enormous room. In the middle of it was a robot chicken. "I... I... What?" Nut was in awe. "I know, it's amazing, right?" Joseph was ecstatic. "No... Is this a fucking joke? Is this why I gave you 800 quadrillion dogecoins? I asked for a giant robot capable of destruction but you gave me a fucking chicken sized chicken robot." "Well, yes, but size isn't everything. It's all about efficiency. For demonstration, I built another robot to fight the chicken." Another door opened on the left side of the room and a pretty large robot entered the main room. It started slowly started walking to the chicken robot. The chicken robot just stared at the large robot. Eventually the large robot stood near the chicken robot and stepped on the chicken robot. It put it's foot away and the chicken robot was obliterated. "Uhh... that... wasn't supposed to happen..." Joseph was ashamed. "Well fucking obviously. If you didn't put it through any fucking training on a virtual space then obviously it had no idea what was going on you fucking buffoon. I cannot comprehend how stupid you are. If there was a window in this room I would defenestrate you. How many dogecoins do you have now?" Nut asked. "Like, maybe 5 or 6, my dude." "Cool, then you have to utilize those coins to make my robot or else I'll make you watch poorly designed animated porn." "aw" Joseph got to working on another robot and then Once Joseph Joseph has bec "ALRIGHT, I'M ABOUT TO SHOW YOU MY CREATION." Joseph said. "IT'S NOT A ROBOT BUT CLOSE ENOUGH." "Ok?" Nut replied. The door opened on it's own in the same manner. In the middle of the room stood Joseph, with most of his body replaced with titanium and graphite rods. The left side door opened again and the same robot started approaching Joseph. Once the robot was near Joseph, it was eviscerated. "IS THIS GOOD ENOUGH?" "No. No, no, no, my dear Joseph. This isn't good enough. We have done this thing before and cyborgs aren't the thing we are looking for. We need something that doesn't feel, can perform tasks flawlessly and takes orders from set people. Cyborgs can't do those things. You feel, you can make mistakes and you have a free will." "THEN HOW DO I CREATE IT?" "Fine. I'll give you Grygoris, an A.I. expert. He should help you with this problem." "privet. ya grygori. a ty?" "AW" Joseph and Grygoris got to work. They still had one more dogecoin. That was because Joseph was in debt and owed 700 quadrillion dogecoins to the Mexican cartels. He had to create this robot to destroy the cartel and get rid of his debt. Joseph created the body and Grygoris created the A.I.. "ALRIGHT, WE'RE ABOUT TO SHOW YOU OUR CREATION." Joseph once again started. "I BELIEVE IT IS A SUCCESS." "yez, mozit budet horoso" Grygoris agreed. Joseph pressed the button and once again, the door opened and in the middle stood a large robot. "pederast!" Grygoris shouted The robot's eyes lighted up. The left side door opened again and a new big robot approached the A.I. robot. Once the big robot was within 5 meters of the A.I. robot, it disappeared. It was atomized. "AWAITING ORDER" The robot proclaimed. "IS THIS GOOD ENOUGH?" Joseph asked Nut. "Hmm, I think so. Are you sure you didn't put a brain in there?" "net net. eta mechanika." Grygoris said. "Good, so who does it listen to?" "menia." "Alright. Then pass the ownership to me." "net. eta moi robot. y meid de smart. it belong to me." "Right, then we can just kill you and it won't listen to anyone anymore." "yez. but y programeid yt to keel pepul witaut ovner." "GRYGORIS WHAT THE FUCK. I THOUGHT YOU'D GIVE ME PART OF THE OWNERSHIP TOO." "fak yu. yur debt is yur. y hev mai plens." "What the fuck is going on anymore?" "nov y bekom prezident af rasiya." Grygoris ordered the A.I. robot to pick him up and he smashed through the wall of the facility and walked out. "You absolute cretin. What do we do now?" "IF HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN CONTROL THE ROBOT, THEN WE MUST CONTROL HIM." "Mind control?" "YES." "That's 200 years in the future." "WHAT?" "I'm just saying that we should go into the future and steal a mind control device.: "TIME MACHINES HAVE BEEN INVENTED?" "In the future, yes. But we captured a time traveler and now we have his machine." "BUT IS IT MULTIVERSE THEORY OR A SINGLE TIMELINE?" "Multiverse." "AWFULLY CONVENIENT." "Yeah ok let's just go." Joseph and Nut used the time machine and stole the mind control device. "YOU KNOW, WITH IT BEING THE FUTURE AND ALL, I THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD BE WAY HARDER TO STEAL THINGS." "Actually, mind control devices are nigh-useless in the future as there are the tinfoil hats." "SHIT." Joseph and Nut traveled to Russia to finally confront Grygoris. The A.I created a literal fortress for him. "GRYGORIS YOU FUCK. COME OUT SO WE CAN BEAT YOU." "huehue yu tink yu ken byt my. my A.I. veel tek ker of yu. "Ok, but we can mind control you." "gavno." "jsdflkj;lasdgnsljklsjhskldfhfhd. alexa, pass ownership to Nut and Joseph." "ALEXA, DESTROY THE MEXICAN CARTEL." "Wait what? Why the Mexican cartel?" "YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW. IT'S PERSONAL." "Ok then. Grygoris, you are a gay piece of shit. I fire you from your job." "gavno." The moral of the story: Have you ever considered the chance that there might be alien's on earth? Would you believe me if I told you that Obama is actually a lizard man from Mar's? You might be thinking that I'm nut's but it might be true. It's just that the alien's have blended in our society so well that we can't recognize one from the other. That's why it might explain why some 'human's' are born infertile. Human's and alien's can breed but their offspring cannot continue their legacy. Roses are gay.